The Writer Tracy

“I just want to eat,” she says with a frown, as she stares at the fruit on her plate. She is grumpy and I get it, I understand why. I remember the pain.

“I know,” I say, “and you will. The pain you are feeling today won’t last. Soon, you’ll be able to eat lots of things.”

From the look on her face, I’m pretty sure she does not believe me. After all, she’s thirteen and I am her mother, one of the least credible sources in her universe.

While I know the pain will end, she can’t see it.

My youngest daughter got braces this week. And while I must say she’s been a good sport about it all, today the pain is getting to her. Today she is sick and tired of her teeth hurting.

I’m right there with her. Only for me, it’s my back.

I’ve had back pain for four months. It’s manageable in the day, but really bad at night. I’ve done all I could to remedy it. I’ve been stretching and icing and taking Advil and getting adjusted by a chiropractor. I’ve backed off on exercise. All of this helps. So just when I start to feel better, when I get excited and anxious to get back to my old ways, I do something to exasperate it. Then I find myself back at square one. It’s getting old (apparently so am I).

As I’ve prayed about this, or rather, as I’ve complained to God about this, I can’t help but wonder why it’s happening. I’ve always been healthy. No major illnesses, no major surgeries, nary a trip to the ER that I can remember (beside the time I got hit by a car, that’s a story for another day…).   Now what, God, what do I do?

How can I help myself get better? What am I doing to make this worse? How can I sleep at night in the meantime? And the scariest question of all, will I always be in this pain? Am I forever done with yoga and Pilates and strength training and long walks and early morning bike rides? (One might think I’d be much thinner with all this activity…).

I’d like to tell you God gave me a concrete answer. That he whispered in my ear that this too shall pass, and that soon I’d be downward-dogging to my heart’s content. He did not.

I’m praying and waiting and praying and waiting. Sometimes, this is how it works.

I’ve just finished Jonathan Golden’s book, Be You. Do Good.   The book itself talks about how to find and pursue your calling. Jonathon is the founder of Land of a Thousand Hills, a multi-million dollar coffee company.   He’s also am Anglican Pastor and Executive Life Coach. His company provides work and wages for over 2,500 Rwandan farmers and their families. Wow! He’s a driven dreamer with a lot of great advice on partnering with God as you pursue utilizing the gifts He has graced you with.  But my favorite part about the book was his talk about time.

Golden explains that in English we have just one word for time, but that in Greek there are two words to describe different kinds of time. Chronos refers to time on the clock, how much time we have in a given day. Kairos refers to opportunity, the time when you are in a prime moment of life and seize what is before you. Think of the unknown recording artist who happens to be in the elevator with a music producer. The artist just happens to have a copy of his music with him and seizes the opportunity to give his music to the producer.

Golden goes on to talk about how when we go after our calling, we are sure to face challenges. He stresses the importance of learning to get through these times instead of trying to force outcome in a certain direction. When difficulties arise, we must be patient, pray and wait on God. Kairos will come, in God’s time, not ours. This is the part that stuck with me.

Though I am wired to act, to solve my own problems in life, I am better if I am in sync with God’s plans for me. I must partner with him, not just in the pursuit of my calling, but in all aspects of my life. There are times I wish it didn’t work this way. I wish God would just wave his magic wand for those of us who are giving a life a faith the old college try.  But unfortunately, one can’t abandon all faith during the crappy parts of life.  The pain-in-the-back parts. The part your when braces hurt like heck.

Looking at my daughter, I finally hear for myself the words I just said to her.  And I realize, even though God didn’t whisper it in my ear, it’s true; This too shall pass. 

“Would you like a milkshake?” I say to my daughter. 

Her eyes immediately light up. It may not be the most nutritious dinner, but it will get her through.

Accepting where I am, trusting where God is taking me, and getting through, this is the life of faith. 

Happiness is watching a cute movie on a chilly Saturday afternoon.

For the first time in a very long time, I found myself with an empty Saturday afternoon this past weekend. What a treat! And so yes, I could have gone to the gym or cleaned my house or done the laundry, but I didn’t. Instead I chose to plop down on the couch, wrap up in a blanket, and watch a movie. I’m so glad I did.

The movie I chose (or rather Netflix suggested) was Hector and the Search for Happiness. As my daughter says, it was a total Tracy movie. In this film, the main character Hector, a middle-aged English man, finds himself a bit bored with work and life. Being that he is a psychiatrist, Hector is concerned that since he himself is feeling out of sorts, perhaps he’s not serving his patients well.  So much to the dismay of his girlfriend, he decides to take off and travel the world for “research.” For the majority of the movie, we watch as Hector goes through a myriad of comical and scary adventures. All the while he is keeping a list of what does and does not make people happy.

I enjoyed this movie because it was different and funny yet also meaningful. And it really got me thinking: what makes us happy, or more important personally, what makes me happy? I think it’s definitely a question we need to ask ourselves, for many reasons.

I am a Christian which also means I believe I’m designed to serve God and my fellow man.  One could easily argue that happiness should not be on my priority list.  However, I believe God wants us to be content (check out Ecclesiastes 3:12-13, Psalms 37:4, Proverbs 17:22 or 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ).  I also think we’re at our best when our own needs are met.  It is then that we can be more productive, kind, loving and giving toward others. It’s a win for the world.

So the question becomes, how does one achieve happiness?  Is it through attaining our goals? Acquiring the cool things we covet?  Spending time with loved ones?  Giving to others? Traveling more?  Though it’s a simple question, the answer must be elusive to many, as there are a myriad of books and psychological research on the topic.  This blog post could go in a million directions, but let’s stick with the movie for now.

The list Hector comes up with is a good one. And while I won’t spoil the movie for you by sharing it, I will say this: when it comes to being happy, think small. Through his experiences and the people he meets, Hector realizes happiness is not about possessions or accomplishments or money or looks or having found the love of your life even.  It is about the way you live, love and perceive the world around you.

Two weeks ago the pastor at my church suggested we keep a gratitude journal for two weeks (until Thanksgiving) and see how it makes a difference. Yawn. How often have we all heard this?  For about 5 seconds I smugly thought about how for years I’ve been writing down 5 things I’m thankful for each day. But that thought was quickly countered by another thought (um, thanks God, for the reality check).  I currently mark off the things I’m grateful for faster than I make out my grocery list. Lame!  So, I decided to challenge myself. I would not only write about the things I am thankful for, but also a few sentences about why I was thankful for those things.

I’m only a week in, and I can’t tell you what a difference it has made.  Writing about my blessings and why I’m grateful for them makes them come alive. I begin to feel excited about all the things I have. And trust me, I’m just your average person.  Today I wrote about how much I love a class I’m taking, how lucky I am to have my best friend, how cozy my house is when it’s cold and rainy out and how fuzzy socks rock.  Sounds silly, but it does the trick.  I believe this exercise is improving my mood (perhaps we should ask my husband to be sure…). I actually looking forward to the few minutes I spend on it each day.

Am I a Pollyanna you ask? Well, maybe.  I do try to focus on the good in life.  But it doesn’t mean I’m in denial. I’ve had my share of cruddy times.  Haven’t we all.  I could write an entire post of all the thing in my life that make me slightly batty.  But I don’t like focusing on such things. It downright sucks the energy right out of me.  So when I start down that path, I try to remember: When I choose to focus on what I’m grateful for (every day, not just during the holidays) I am rewarded.  My mood is lighter, my perspective changed, my heart a little healthier. I’m sure that I’m a little easier to live with.

We hear it all the time: be grateful.  In fact, we hear it so much we often tune out the message. We’ve long been reminded to focus on our blessings or keep a gratitude journal.  We’re all well aware that research proves gratitude is good for us.  In some ways, we’re kind of over the entire message.

But still. There it is: gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. It’s the simplest answer of all.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO MY AMERICAN FRIENDS AND HAPPY DAY TO THE REST OF YOU!  MAY YOU ALL REMEMBER HOW BLESSED YOU TRULY ARE.

This weekend marks my 50th birthday.  I can’t believe I’ve been around for half a century, it doesn’t seem possible.  But as I ponder this getting older thing, I’ve decided: it’s not so bad.  In fact I can think of 50 reasons I’m okay with turning 50 and I’d like to share them with you.

1-I now qualify for discounts through AARP.

2-The older I get the more I realize every day is a gift. This brings with it a shift in my attitude (on most days).

3-I can remember life without a remote, cell phone or MTV.  There’s something to be said about a life without electronics.

3-50 years means lots of vacations! I’ve traveled to 34 states, 14 countries and 3 continents.

4-I now know what I like and what I don’t and I’m finally okay with ditching what I don’t like.

5-2 out of 3 of my kids are adults, and I really like who they have become. I also like the one that is still under my roof!

6-50 years means I’ve been through some really crappy times. I now know a) I will survive, and b) crappy times always end.

7-I can appreciate the miracle of birth and find joy in holding a baby, but I no longer have to get up for 4am feedings.

8-I’ve learned what it means to be a good friend. I know the importance of being one and having one.

9-I now understand money is just money. You can be happy with or without it.

10-I’ve been yelled at and ridiculed by many mean people over the years. It used to upset me. Now I know the problem is them, not me.

11-Because my youngest is a teen, we are beyond the pet stages: no more fish, hamster or hermit crabs. All that is left is the dog and the hedgehog. Thank God.

12-I can appreciate the not so exciting moments in life.  A night at home with nothing to do is a good night.

13- I feel like I can quit striving to look younger. I’m not going to fool anybody anyway!

14-I’m old enough to see the people I knew as they were born grow up, get married. and have kids. Pretty cool.

15-I’ve forgiven my body for not being perfect and have moved on to thanking it for continuing to work.

16-My husband’s family is now my family. They have been for 24 years, but after so much time you almost forget that there was a time you weren’t related.

17-I will never again have to work an elementary school carnival or deliver boatloads of Girl Scout cookies. Okay, I didn’t really mind working the carnival.

18-I have developed a strong faith in God. This helps me through everything.

19-I’ve seen beauty in hard times. People who’ve stepped up out of nowhere to hold me up when I thought I might fall apart. This is such a gift.

20-I can go out in public looking like a bum without worry-no one is looking at me anyway, and if they were I wouldn’t care!

21-I’ve picked up so many friends along the way: high school friends, college friends, work friends, new mama friends, church friends, volunteer friends, writer friends-the list goes on and on. I love them all.

22-I can finally afford the Sleep Number Bed.

23-30 of my 50 years have been spent with the coolest guy around (that would be my husband).

24-I no longer worry what the latest recent studies say. I know now most things considered “bad” for me will eventually regain their reputation (think coconut oil, eggs, milk…).

25- I’ve learned grudges aren’t worth it. Seriously. The grudge holder is the one who suffers the most.

26-50 is the new 30.

27-I’m getting comfortable in my own skin. At least metaphorically…

28-I don’t get fired up over the little things.   Yes, the guy at Best Buy was a jerk, that woman cut me off in traffic, and I picked the world’s longest line in Target with a  cashier slower than molasses.  It happens.

29-I no longer have to make all those big life decisions: Where do I go to college? Should I take the job? Is he the one? How many kids should we have? Can we afford this house? Done.

30-I no longer get (too) depressed when I gain 5 lbs. I know I’ll eventually lose it, and then (sadly) gain it back again.

31-Done. With. Heels.

32-By now, I know my better half pretty well. I know his habits, his ways, his likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. I used to think this would be boring-it’s not.

33-YOLO has a new meaning. It’s not an excuse to do something radical, but is a reminder me that life could change at any moment. I need to go after what I want now, no more waiting for a rainy day.

34-Retirement isn’t a gazillion years away. It’s in sight and I’m looking forward to it!

35-I’m more observant now, see things I previously took for granted. The beauty of birds. Sweetness of toddlers. Sunsets. Full moons. The hands of God as he works in others. You get the picture.

36-I’m much more forgiving. We’re all human. We all screw up. We’re all learning together.

37-I now have an excuse for losing my keys, my grocery list, my wallet, and my mind.

38-I have SO many photo albums. Old and fading photos of kids and vacations and holidays and birthdays and Father’s Days and Mother’s Days and school plays and orchestra concerts and Girl Scout camping trips and soccer games and Easter egg hunts. I’ve had a full 50 years.

39-I can afford to pay for my moisturizer without having to eat tuna for a month.

40-I’m much nicer to myself. I allow myself the grace to make mistakes.

41-I really got over this old age thing when I turned 49. That was a harder birthday than this one.

42-The 50’s are proven to be a good time of life. A recent study found 4 out of 10 people were more content in their 50’s than at any other age. How awesome is this?

43-With 3 kids, odds are good there are weddings and/or grandchildren to look forward to.

44-There’s no more peer pressure of any kind.

45-I’ve learned to trust my gut. Always.

46-I now find joy in the little things. Hot tea, quiet mornings, a fire in the fire pit, a good book or a Sunday afternoon nap.

47-Stories. I have so many stories and memories. I can’t wait to tell them over and over again to people who wish I’d shut up when I’m even older.

48-I now know when and how to pick my battles. I’m only going to fight the ones that matter.

49-I no longer feel guilty taking time for me.  I’m all about naps, reading on my porch or getting a good massage.

50-I’m still here. Living, breathing, talking, walking-the whole nine yards. Not everyone gets this many years. Happy birthday to me! And my brother, who turns 53 today, and my daughter who turns 19.

I was recently nominated for the Liebster Award from fellow blogger Pernnille who is from Denmark and writes a lovely travel blog.

The Liebster Award
The Liebster Award is given by bloggers to fellow bloggers in order to support and encourage them in their blogging. The guidelines for receiving the award varies, however, the general rules are as follows:

– Post your award to your blog in a blog post
– Answer the 10 questions that were given to you by the fellow blogger who nominated you
– Nominate 3-10 other bloggers you have discovered with less than 3,000 followers
– Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer

Questions
Here are the questions Pernnille asked me to answer:

1-Why did you decide to create a blog?   I’ve been writing for years, some creative pieces, but mostly freelance articles for magazines and newspapers.  I’d wanted to create a blog for years, it just took me a while to go for it. 

2-What do you hope to achieve with your blog?  I truly hope people will enjoy my writing and that it will get them thinking about life, relationships and faith.  I guess I hope my words help to connect us and lead us to understand each other just a bit better. 

3-Which three words would you use to describe your blog?  Inspirational, positive and faithful.

4-Which three words would you use to describe yourself?  Thinker, traveler and reader.

5-What or whom inspires and motivates you in your life?  I am inspired by my  faith and my family.

6-What makes you happy?  My family, faith, and friends of course.  Beyond that I love to read, travel and write. 

7-What is your favorite place or destination in the world (your home excluded)?   I tend to love certain things about certain places so don’t really have a favorite destination.  Once, my family and I took a drive on Beartooth Highway in southern Montana.  The weather was perfect and the views on the drive were magnificent.  I remember thinking there was not a more beautiful place on earth. 

8-What or whom is your favorite song or music artist(s)?  Please don’t limit me to one!  I love all music with the exception or rap.  My ipod is full of old rock, country, Christian contemporary, jazz, piano, classical and more.

9-What are your hopes and dreams for your future?  I hope to write a second book and many more after that.  

10-When you have passed away, how would you hope people characterize you?  I hope people will say I was genuine and had a good heart.  I hope they’ll remember me for my strong faith in God and say that my life reflected that faith. 

My Nominees
I have chosen to nominate the following four bloggers due to their brilliance. I truly enjoy following these blogs:

Denise Rezsonya, Inspiring Teens and Families Through Faith

Lisanne, Quiet Confidence

Geralyn, Where My Feet Are

Sabra and David Penley, Simply One in Marriage

Congratulations, dear fellow bloggers!

Your questions are as follows:

1-What made you want to start a blog?

2-What have you learned by throwing yourself out into the blog-o-sphere?

3-What is something few people know about you?

4-When you were 7, what did you want to be when you grew up ?

5-Do you have a mentor?  If so, tell us about him/her.

6-If you could have anything in the world, just for a day, what would it be?

7-Tell us a favorite memory from your childhood.

8-What is your favorite kind of candy?

9-If you have to give up one of these 3 things-television, your phone or print books, which would it be?

10-What would a perfect day look like to you?

How I’ve felt lately.

Tell me I’m not the only one, that you have felt like this too:

Not quite yourself, a little irritated, restless and bored with the day-to-day drudgery. 

This has been me for the last few weeks.  All I’ve wanted to do is chuck my to-do list and take a nap (yes, I gave in to it a couple of days!). But last week I did one thing-one thing that changed everything.  And I want you to do it too.

I signed up for a writing class. And no, I’m not asking you to join my class, but instead I’d like you to do one thing.

Do one thing for yourself this week that brings you joy. Not just contentment, but joy. Do something that makes you glad to be alive.

No matter how many meetings you need to prepare for, how many sporting events you need to take your kids to, or how busy your week is: just do it. Do one thing.

Yes, I’m a writer so taking a writing class may not be so unusual.  So why did this one action make such a difference? Because I love to write and as an author whose book has just been released, guess what I haven’t had time for lately?  Writing, of course is the answer, something that brings me great joy.

When it comes to doing what we love, life gets in the way. But we need to take charge of our days or the days will take charge of us. 

I’m fairly certain if you surf the ‘net, you’ve at one point seen the story that talks about the professor who asks his class to fill a jar with sand and pebbles. When the class put the sand in first, they can’t fit in all of the pebbles. But when they put the pebbles in first, the sand fills in around them. Everything fits.

Obviously in this story, the sand represents our responsibilities and the pebbles represent items that are important to us. What’s important to you?  Do you make time for it?

I tend to want to finish my responsibilities before I do anything fun.  But life wasn’t meant to be a race, where I get as much done as possible and then at the end, stop for a rest.  Life was meant to be a walk where I take in the sights, the sounds, the tastes around me as I go through it.

Life is not meant to be a race to the finish.

Even so, there are only 24 hours a day and most of us have more on our plates than we’d like.  But time is just another form of currency: how are you spending yours?

Earlier this week,  I took a long bike ride with friends along the Monon Trail.  It took some cajoling for me to even commit to going.  My days are full and I always feel like I am behind.  But this week, I knew I’d been in a rut.  I needed to take care of me and take advantage of these last few days of great weather, so I agreed to go. And boy am I glad I did. The sun was shining, the wind was in my hair and my companions and I had a great talk (and lunch) along the way.

Did I get less work done that day? Yes.

Do I care?  No.

Here’s why:  It’s taken me a long time, but I’ve finally learned (though sometimes, like these last weeks, I forget) when I renew my spirit, I’m actually more productive. Backing away from my work helps me work more efficiently when I actually sit down to do so.

I’m also a happier person (which my family will tell you makes me a little easier to live with!).  Filling my bucket or jar or whatever you want to call it, gives me the patience and strength to handle the rest of what life requires of me.

Friends, how we spend our days is how we spend our life.  How are you spending yours?  

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and to do good as long as they live.”  -Ecclesuastes 3:12 (NLV). 

Every once in a while you find a book or an author that strikes a cord with you.  You read the words they have carefully crafted and think, “Yes!  That’s it!  That’s exactly the way I feel, but I haven’t been able to put into words.” 

For me, that author is Regina Brett. 

Brett is a New York Times bestselling author of three books, God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours, Be the Miracle: 50 Lessons for Making the Impossible Possible and her newest book, God Is Always Hiring: 50 Lessons for Finding Fulfilling Work. Her inspirational columns appear regularly in Ohio’s largest newspaper, The Plain Dealer, where she was a finalist in 2008 and 2009 for the Pulitzer Prize in Commentary.

I love Regina because she is so real; she writes from the heart and when you read her books you feel as if you know her.  In addition she is wise; she is a woman of faith who tries hard to get life right. When God is Always Hiring came out, I knew I had to buy it. I devoured it, just as I have her other books and knew I wanted to interview her for this blog. Lucky for me, she and her publicist agreed to the interview.  So without further ado, please meet one of my favorite inspiration authors, Regina Brett.

Interview with NYT bestselling author Regina Brett

Me-You grew up in a large family, were 1 of 11 children. Was your faith important to you as a child?  Did you have any spiritual role models?  In what ways did your childhood experiences affect your faith journey?

Regina-Faith and family were the pillars in our house. My parents were super-sized Catholics. We had a three-foot high crucifix over the TV set, a giant statue of Mary in their bedroom, a picture of the last supper in the dining room. It’s like a church exploded in the Brett house.

We read The Lives of the Saints, went to church every Sunday and holy day. My parents were my spiritual role models. I saw my dad on his knees next to his bed where he prayed every night. My mom still loves to say the rosary. They used to line us up along the couch to kneel and pray it.

Faith is the center of my life. A belief and a reliance on a power greater than me who loves me. What has changed is that love is the focus, not fear. Mercy, not judgment.

Me-In your books, you mention various jobs you’ve had (waiting tables, personal assistant, delivering bodies to the funeral home, etc.). What changed in your life to take you from doing odd jobs and dropping out of college, to becoming a college graduate who then became a news reporter, columnist and best selling book author?

Regina-I dropped out of college because I got pregnant at 21. I wasn’t married. At the time, I thought my life was over. It was just getting started. After my daughter was born, I took any job that could pay the rent. When she was 6, I decided to finish my college degree. I made a deal with God: I would finish my degree and go down to part-time work so I could get financial aid and have time to go to school; God would keep us healthy, because I had no health insurance for three years.

I graduated from Kent State at age 30 with a degree in journalism, and my life took off like a rocket.

Me-You’ve overcome a number of difficult personal circumstances in your life.  Confusing teen years, bad relationships, becoming a single mother and getting breast cancer to name a few.  At what point and in which circumstances did you learn to trust God with the details?

Regina-I have to constantly surrender my life over to God. So often I want to steer the bus, then realize, God’s in charge, not me. Life goes so much smoother that way. When I got pregnant at 21 and when I got cancer at 41, I had to walk out on the tightrope that is faith and trust that God would hold me up. Sometimes I tell God, I can’t hold onto You, so You hold onto me. So far it has worked.

Me-In what ways do you still personally struggle with faith and what do you do to overcome these struggles?

Regina-It’s not so much a struggle anymore, but I do need constant reminders to let go, relax and float on the River that is life and not struggle to go upstream against the current. God is in charge of the flow. My job is to float along like a leaf and let God’s love carry me to God’s perfect will for me.

Sometimes it’s the small stuff that trips me up, the speed bumps of life, not the giant Rocky Mountains. Life gives me ample opportunities to relax my grip and let God run the show.

Me-All of your books inspire me, and likely all readers, to both believe in myself and to trust God in that process.  Would you say that is your ultimate message?  If not, what do you want to get across to your readers?

Regina-Relax and let God love you. That love will take care of everything. Everything that happens to you is second to how much God loves you. Stop fighting life and love it unconditionally.

Me-Would you say writing inspirational books is what you are meant to do in this life?  If so, what led you to realize that?  What can those of us who are still figuring it out do to help us find our way?

Regina-After having breast cancer at 41, I got to turn 45 – something two of my aunts didn’t get to do. They both died of breast cancer that spread elsewhere. When I turned 45, I wrote down all the lessons life taught me, they just flowed out like a fountain from my soul. I turned them into a column and it became an internet sensation. That’s when I knew these life lessons were my gift to give the world.

Me-Your latest book, God is Always Hiring, 50 Lessons for Finding Fulfilling Work, encourages readers to find their purpose in life and go for it.  What would you say to those who are fearful of chasing their dreams?

Regina-You don’t need to chase your dreams. What works better is to relax into your dreams and flow toward them. Spend a little quiet time each morning just being at peace with being you and getting grounded. I call it getting into alignment with God and my best self. All else flows from that with ease. Action comes after alignment, because once you get aligned spiritually, you get the clarity on what action to take.

Me-Will there be more books from Regina Brett in the near future?

Regina-I’m already working on the next book. I’m most at peace when I’m writing. It’s like breathing to me.

Me-Anything else I didn’t ask that you’d like readers to know?

Regina-I want to thank all the readers who have read my books, written me emails, followed me on Facebook and Twitter and shared a bit of their lives with me.

You continually inspire me to keep writing. We’re all in this together. What a wonderful ride!

“Relax and let God love you” words to soothe a weary soul.  For more about Regina Brett, visit her website, at http://www.reginabrett.com.